Not her fault

My mom and dad were exposed to the virus a few weeks ago. My dad tested positive, got sick, and was given antibodies. My mom started a slow burn stomach problem. She had a 99 fever. She was nauseated. She couldn’t eat. She tested negative. Twice. After about 5 days of this “she couldn’t take it anymore” and my dad sent her to the hospital in an ambulance. He was not allowed to go with her (or take her to the hospital) because he was in quarantine.

Mom sat in the ER in a wheelchair overnight. All the gunshot victims from the city took the open beds. My dad went back and picked her up 8 hours later. She never saw a doctor. She was miserable. The only good thing they did was give her IV fluids so she didn’t die of dehydration over night.

She managed to eat a little on Saturday and then back to the ER she went on Sunday morning when her fever spiked to 102 and she started to cough. This time, she tested positive.

She has pneumonia and is on oxygen.

I should mention she has asthma and is morbidly obese. She has little immunity to pathogens and is frequently ill. I’m not surprised she’s sick. She’s always sick. I am surprised it took her this long to get “the virus”.

I have been in the unfortunate position of informing relatives. Several have point blank asked if she got the vaccine. I refuse to answer. It’s none of their business. But they go on and on about it. My sister went so far as to say “I told her at Christmas if she refused to wear the mask she was going to get sick.” My sister forgot that she wears the mask every day and she got sick last Fall. Masks don’t stop the virus.

The thing is, everyone is looking for someone to blame. There are so many fingers pointing in every which direction that I feel like I’m in a field of fingers. But it’s not her fault she’s sick. Just like it’s not my fault my neighbor is sick. To be honest, the only person I haven’t seen blamed for the doggone virus is God. What’s up with that?

One relative said, “My household is vaccinated, we still wear masks, and we are VERY careful.”


We don’t blame people when they get cancer. Well, unless they are a chain smoker and they get lung cancer. (And I’m not saying that is right either!) Sickness happens. (Granted, this particular virus seems to have roots in biogenetic engineering with a lot of powerful people having patents for it and also holding patents for the vaccines. But I digress.)

My mom is in the hospital on oxygen. She is getting Remdesivir. There are no guarantees.

But there are no guarantees for anything in life. My grandma died in a horrific car crash. My cousin OD’d. My other grandma had a heart attack. As my dad likes to say, “No one gets out of this life alive.” I just really wish people would stop pointing their ugly fingers–that are really just representative of their ugly hearts–and start giving credit where credit is due. God is the only reason any of us are alive in the first place. More, He stepped into the brutally painful world of men, took on human flesh, was tortured to death to make atonement for our hatred of Him, and then rose from the dead to destroy death forever and reconcile us to Himself. He ever lives to make intercession for us because He loves us.

Lots of people want a vaccine as a sort of security blanket but that blanket doesn’t appeal to me. Mostly, because I know it won’t work as a parachute. I’m hedging my bets on something more sturdy, more reliable, and more everlasting. Or as one hymn-writer once wrote, “Oh love of God, so rich and pure, so measureless and strong. It shall forever more endure the saints and angels song.”

My dad is understandably upset and afraid. But I stand by what I said to him that first night: no matter what happens, it will be okay. My mom knows the Lord. And because of that we have no reason to fear death. We do not fear those who might kill the body because we fear Him who has the power to cast the soul into hell. And since he has redeemed us with the blood of His son, I’m feeling fairly confident at the moment.

“Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?”

Meanwhile, in Moscow, Idaho…

I enjoy N.D. Wilson. He wrote one of my favorite series, 100 Cupboards. The cupboards lead to an alternate universe. I could hardly put them down. I wonder if he ever imagined a horror like the one he is currently experience in (Soviet) Moscow. He’s being sued for making stickers that protest the city council mask mandates. And that’s only a sliver of the story–which is both hilarious, ridiculous and terrifying.

For Immediate Release: | Blog & Mablog (

COVID: The New Opioid Epidemic

It seems like there are many people in the world who have doubts about the pandemic. I am one of them. This reinforces my doubts.

Clarissa's Blog

This thread on the truly bizarre genesis of COVID is a must-read.

Folks, remember the opioid epidemic? It’s still happening, so it shouldn’t be that hard to remember even in this 1984 reality where people’s memories seem to be erased daily.

The entire opioid epidemic happened because of one footnote in one obscure article in one medical journal that was erroneously interpreted to say that opioids aren’t addictive. It was a profitable idea, so for the next 20 years, the entire US medical establishment operated under the assumption that opioids aren’t addictive. And people started dying in such numbers that life expectancy trends were reversed.

The medical establishment has now recognized its mistake. Whoop-dee-doo. But this does nothing for those who died and are still dying. It does nothing for Mexico which is ravaged by the cartels that arose to feed the demand created by that one stupid footnote.


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Is illegal immigration a lucrative business?

There are a lot of things that bother me in the rancid world I live in. One of them is child exploitation. I am only recently learning how politicians profit off illegal immigrant children and it makes me physically sick. I sometimes wish I could go back to my blissfully ignorant existence. The good news is: I now know how to pray. “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”

Biden Administration Contemplates Travel Restrictions on Florida While Releasing 1,000 Illegal Border Crossers in Past Week – The Last RefugeThe Last Refuge (

Courage and Candor

It takes a lot of courage to speak the truth, especially right now. While many people are perfecting the art of mistruth–and strengthening the muscle of oppression–one man has staked his reputation on saving America. That man is Mike Lindell.

His documentary, “Absolute Proof” documents the attack on America by China via Dominion voting machines. He states that this is not about “Republican or Democrat” but rather about exposing the attack and rallying the American people. The documentary is chalk full of statistics and experts and is very compelling.

Near the end of the piece he discusses how the FBI, CIA, DOJ, and the courts have failed us and even allowed the cyber attack to happen. He hopes the members of the supreme court will watch it and “do something!”. If one watches him closely, they can see the exhaustion and desperation. This is a man “shouting from the rooftops”. He exhorts the viewer to tell everyone they know.

From what I’ve read, Mike’s company, My Pillow, has taken a hit from retailers who are so afraid of the totolitariam regime they removed his products from their online and physical stores. I also understand he spent nearly $3 million of his own money to make this documentary. After I finished praying for Mike Lindell, I went over to his online store and did something I’ve never done–plunked down a bunch of pretty pennies for some sheets. I don’t particularly need them, but I want to support the guy.

This purchase feels so small in the greater scheme of things. And I know a lot of folks won’t watch the documentary–or will only watch it to mock it–or will malign Mike Lindell because they have a heart full of malice. But I’m really proud of him for speaking out when so many won’t. I hope to learn from his example and exhibit the same kind of courage when it’s my turn. In a culture of cowards and liars, Mike Lindell is trumpeting a terrible truth. We would be wise to listen and respond appropriately.

Why shouldn’t I get the vaccine?

I am a fully vaccinated adult–meaning, I current on the vaccine schedule. I also have chronic auto-immune issues and a son with juvenile diabetes. I remember the days when the only auto-immune disease I was aware of was sickle-cell anemia. I remember thinking how horrible it would be to have it and try to eek out a living. I remember being so grateful that I was healthy and so were all my children.

My son was diagnosed when he was 3 years old (9 years ago) and it was a great shock to learn he would be insulin dependent for the rest of his life. Of course I was glad it wasn’t worse; it could have been cancer. I knew parents who lost children to cancer and children who lost parents. But even so, juvenile diabetes is no picnic.

Five years ago I sought help from a homeopathic doctor due to my struggle with debilitating gut issues(diagnosed with IBS) and depression. My son was also dealing with severe behavioral diagnosis’ and was taking harsh psych drugs that were only making him worse. The traditional medical community told me I was “perfectly healthy–I just needed to eat more white rice and bread” and my son “just needed to regulate his meds”. I was desperate. I thought the homeopathic chiropractor I went to was more than a little loony. But when I worried about money–as in her treatment was not covered by insurance–she asked me a question I thought was valid, “How much is your health, your quality of life worth?” And thus began my journey to better health and the end of my trust for the traditional medical community. She healed my digestive issues (something that is chronic in my family) and I no longer have seasonal allergies, nor do I get motion sickness. It’s quite remarkable. And it was worth every penny. I also used to get sinus infections and bronchitis all the time. Now, it’s rare for me to get it.

What does this have to do with the new Covid-19 vaccine?

Diabetes is big money. I pay over a thousand dollars every time I order vials (a three-month supply) for my child. He will die without it so I don’t have much choice. I spent many years raising money for the American Diabetes Association until I discovered their agenda is tainted by their partnership with big pharma (Lilly & Novo Nordisk). I thought they wanted to cure diabetes–alas, no. Why would they want to kill such a big money making scheme?

I perceive the Covid-19 vaccine as much more nefarious than insulin and a much bigger money maker–considering they want everyone on the planet to get it. And while I realize everyone is posting proud pictures with their “vaccine passport” and calling skeptical people like me, stupid–or worse–an “anti-vaxxer”, the truth is, I just don’t trust the traditional medical establishment because they failed to help me. Not only that–they seem to really only want to profit off my biological dysfunction by prescribing me drugs that don’t work. So, if people trust the Covid-19 vaccine–I say get the vaccine. But don’t make me or my family get it. No one seems to be able to answer my plain and simple question: if the vaccine is so effective, and you got it, why do you care if I get it or not? Your safe. Aren’t you? Why do you care if I get sick?

I have been reading the warnings of Dolores Cahill. She has very persuasive arguments against it and is a molecular biologist. And this doesn’t even take into account that 99% of people who come into contact with the coronavirus recover from it. So why do we even need a vaccine?

So why shouldn’t I get the vaccine? Because I don’t want it. And I don’t want my immune compromised child to get it either.

And here’s a good video of Dolores Cahill discussing the vaccine and how it could harm us.

Stress and Burnout

This is a well reasoned guide to managing acute stress with practical steps to guide you through. I plan to re-read it once a week. Please share with others! Brilliant!

Kiera Polzin, The Navigator Series

When I am particularly stressed, my mind races with a jumble of thoughts, I experience a sinking feeling or a feeling of unease in my stomach, and at times my heart will pound and then I will get damp in my underarms.

When my mind is racing with a jumble of thoughts, I take a minute to pause, take a mental step back, slow my thoughts down, and be in the moment. Sometimes stress and anxiety rush me ahead in time, and I am thinking about what is going to happen next year, so I have to bring myself back to the here and now. As soon as I start to perform a constructive examination like this of my thoughts of stress, anxiety, worry, whichever word I use to describe my distress and discomfort, I can then isolate and deal with my thoughts one by one. Too much to do…

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